I really thought that having my friend live with us was going to be great, but I just don’t know anymore. I keep feeling like she is hiding things from me and talking to my mom only, I feel like she hates me and I am the bad person, she has been out and away before I even get up, she doesn’t text me or call me, I just know that she would rather talk to my mom about everything than me, and at that she is probably telling mom not to tell me that they are talking. She will talk to her other friends rather than talk to me. She is making me feel like the bad guy, that I am the one that is doing all the wrong things. I never thought that I would be so tempted to hurt myself again so bad, I don’t understand why everything is always my fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. I feel like I am loaded with gun powder and I am just one “hey best” away from exploding. And I can absolutely not talk to my mom or my dad about this. I can’t talk to anyone about this because I know she will find out. I feel like I’m in between a rock and a hard place and more and more rocks are being dropped on me and I can’t get away from them. It’s getting to the point that I feel like I should move and never come back ever and just cut people off.